I’m not built to be vulnerable
I don’t know what it is about me or what makes me any different from someone else but I have physical and violent reactions and responses to commitment.
I’m not meant to be vulnerable. I’m just too happy by myself to change it.
Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. (…) You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.
—John Green, Looking for Alaska (via cassket)
(via loveyourchaos)
I love the way you taste on my lips, when we kiss.
And it turns out….you really did care after all
Do you ever screw up something so bad that there is no going back? And have you ever done it with no intentions of ever hurting the other person whatsoever but it just so happens you did because you have lived an honest life and you want to express even your transient emotions, because you know that in order for people to truly know you, they have to know the fleeting as well as the permanent? And have you ever regretted being so honest, because it lost you something or someone that you care about as a human being if nothing else? Have you ever reconsidered every subsequent ideology simply because the events that recently transpired called into question how you deal with your own emotions? And do you ever wish that you could change just a moment in the history of time, just to see how things turn out because you couldn’t bear to think that what went wrong was within your control after all?
And at the end of the day, are you ever afraid you will forget all of this and the subsequent lessons that you have learned, reaffirming your faith that you are the only permanent fixture in your own life?
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the sky.
—Jack Kerouac
Insanity
You know, there are several moments in my life when I am absolutely convinced that I am a child. It’s bizarre because I feel like being completely logical sometimes means that you go with every whim and desire that you have - an unexpectedly childish outcome of a mature decision. There have been several times over the past week that I have followed every fleeting wish of mine and although they have had less-than-ideal outcomes, I do not regret any of them. I’m not sure if that is my stubbornness speaking or the belief that everything works out in the end, but regardless, if I hadn’t followed them, I think my curiosity would have led to worse decisions and subsequent consequences later.
Recently, I said to someone, “I’m not insane you know” and almost immediately after I said it, I wondered: is attempting to stay logical in an illogical world the definition of insanity? When you fight emotion with reason, does that make you unreasonable?
And finally, is disregarding emotion an insane thing to do?
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
